So you’re headed to Florida, huh? The land of the Golden Girls, alligators, and mermaids? And, of course, our most famous resident: Florida Man.
It would be really easy to write ten satirical tips for visiting Florida – too easy, really – so I thought I’d share ten actually helpful things you should know before you visit our state.
What qualifies me for this task? I’ve lived in our nation’s wackiest state for thirty years now (and I can finally put that to good use), and well, yeah, that’s really all the qualification I need:
WHAT VISITORS SHOULD KNOW BEFORE THEIR FIRST TRIP TO FLORIDA
1. “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.”
You’re going to hear this one a lot, so I thought I’d go ahead and get it out of the way. If it’s your first time visiting the southeastern U.S. and you’re visiting between March and October, you’ll finally learn what this phrase truly means.
The humidity makes our air downright swampy, and every Floridian has their own favorite descriptor for the air, from “liquid Jello” to “perpetual steam room.” (Oh, and that towel you’ve slung over the hotel balcony to dry? Unless it’s in direct sunlight for six hours, bring it inside).
To counteract the heat, every home or business you enter will have the A/C blasting on max; even in August, you’ll need a sweater indoors.
2. You’re never far from the beach (but our coasts are drastically different!).
No matter where you are in Florida, you’re never more than sixty miles away from the nearest beach. However, our beaches vary drastically, from the aptly-named Emerald Coast to the lazy waves on St. Pete Beach, and from the hip, blue Miami shores to the more surf-inclined northern beaches. Looking for white sand and clear water? The Gulf Coast is for you. Ready to catch some waves? The East Coast is your best bet.
3. Not all of our water is salty.
It’s true! There are plenty of freshwater spots to enjoy and explore when the temps soar. We have rivers teaming with wildlife and springs for cooling off and diving. Local favorites include the Rainbow River, Ichetucknee Springs, and Insta-perfect Devil’s Den.
4. Tourist towns still offer gems.
Yep, even Orlando has a bit of a personality behind its mouse ears. Despite the kitsch and corporations vying for your tourist dollars, there are plenty of great mom-and-pop spots doing their own thing. Take the time to research your Florida destination (or any destination, really) before you go to seek out the cool local spots. Skip the chain restaurants, department stores, and tacky souvenir shops and discover the real Florida.
5. Sunpass is a lifestyle.
Planning on driving while in Florida? Trick question – to get just about anywhere in the state you’ll need to drive. If you plan on visiting any of our major metropolitan areas, I recommend getting a Sunpass. Many of our toll booths are being converted to bill-by-plate, which means that, unless you have a compatible toll pass, you’ll receive a bill in the mail for your tolls plus an ultra-high administrative fee.
6. Soak up the shade.
You’re gonna need sunscreen – lots of it. Unless you’re from an area closer to the equator, don’t underestimate how quickly the sun burns here. And even though there’s a part of me that loves to watch all of the tourists walking around in a lobster parade, I truly don’t wish that pain on anyone. Shade is a highly prized rarity in some areas (which is why you’ll see cars parked along the back and sides of a parking lot since those spots tend to have better coverage than ones closer to an entrance), and I recommend taking it where you can get it.
7. Set your watch to our afternoon storms.
One of my favorite parts of owning an annual pass to Disney World was at 3 or 4 p.m., when the daily summer storms roll in and clear out in under an hour. Non-locals take the first drop as a sign to leave, but Floridians know to take this opportunity to find a bar nearby to wait it out. Keep an umbrella handy when heading out for the afternoon, and you’ll be dry before dinner.
8. Bugs.
I probably don’t have to write much more than this, but the bugs here can be a nightmare. The hottest months are bookended by the arrival of paint-peeling, partnered-up nuisance known as lovebugs, and in between we find ourselves swatting away any and every other insect at regular intervals. They are worst in the early morning and evening and at any time near standing water. Pack the bug spray, or risk becoming a feast.
9. High summer prices.
Because Florida is a popular destination for families, prices can soar during the summer months when kids are out of school. If you can, I recommend visiting in milder months like March, April, and late October, when the weather is warm but not brutally hot. You’ll feel more comfortable, save money, and be surrounded by fewer people. Oh, and we don’t have state income tax because of tourism, so thank you for considering Florida for your next trip!
10. Leave your expectations behind, but come prepared.
We always say that the further north you travel in the state, it’s as if you’re traveling further south culturally (and vice-versa).
Florida is a very regional state, from the very diverse Miami area (a.k.a. “South Florida”) where you’re more likely to hear voices speaking a language other than English, to the more young and liberal college towns like Tampa and Gainesville, to the highly conservative rural pockets of the panhandle, we really exhibit multiple identities.
That, coupled with vast income inequality, means that some of our non-touristed rural areas are, shall we say, less than tolerant to outsiders or people who don’t fit the white, straight, Christian mold (as with all things this doesn’t encompass everyone living in those areas, but I feel it’s prevalent enough to warn readers of).
Yet while you may indeed come across your very own Florida Man during your time here, I bet you’ll also find plenty of reasons to be pleasantly surprised. Seek out spots off the beaten path, and for goodness’ sake, stay away from any Key lime pie that is green.
Ready to plan your trip? You may enjoy these Florida guides:
- St. Petersburg, Florida Day Trip
- How to Spend a Weekend in Destin, Florida
- Traveling Light: Destin, Florida (30A) Packing List
- A Lazy Beach Getaway in John’s Pass
- A Bit of France in Florida: Attending the Petanque Amelia Island Open
- Small-Town Florida: A Day Trip to Mount Dora
- Miami Beach Photo Diary
- Old Florida: Weeki Wachee
- Wild Florida: Tubing on a Natural Lazy River
- Ten Tips for a Successful Day Trip to the Kennedy Space Center
- A Tallahassee Day Trip
- 36 Hours in Jacksonville, Florida
- Traveling Light: Jacksonville, Florida Packing List
- St. Augustine Day Trip
- A Different Side of Orlando
- A Day Trip to Cedar Key, Florida
- Two Nights in Miami
- Miami’s Wynwood District
- Bern’s Steak House – Tampa, FL
Have you traveled to Florida before? What are some of your favorite spots to visit, and what would you add to this list?
Hello i just wanted to ask do people need passports to go there
no, not if you’re traveling within the US, if you’re from another country, then yes.
what should you be prepared for safety wise in Florida
Can i take nuts on the ground back to ohio